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"So Happy (I Could Burst)" - Bad Queers: The Musical (ft. Clem Turner)

  • hi guys! here's the finalized "so happy (i could burst)", introducing our FABULOUS rae: clem turner!!!! i love him so much, thank you clem for breaking my heart with your rendition of this near and dear song!!
    beautiful rae art by @leafiestleafking on insta, here's the original: www.instagram.com/p/BkCWgrLhhC-/
    shower clem with love: www.youtube.com/channel/UCwPEdU_Buj1VOIJldzYECMw
    if you weren't here for the demo, here's some context: rae, our resident plucky goofball and frozen lemonade addict, is starting to feel super settled into a new chapter of his life. he's a trans guy who has been out and on testosterone for a couple of years, and when he says he hardly remembers life before coming out, well... that's not an understatement.
    this song takes place when he sees his childhood friend charlie at his favorite pretzel shop. memories flood back, and rae briefly tries to reconnect, but then he realizes that he looks so different from his childhood self now that charlie doesn't recognize him. rae is left with a choice: should i explain myself, or are things better this way? time stops (a la musical theatre) so rae can sing a song about that.
    little personal note: so uhh... this hits different from how it did last year. i've moved out of the south and to chicago, i'm non-binary as hell, i'm around folks who have been so sweet in making an effort to call me by they/them pronouns... and (CW: eating disorder recovery mention) i've realized the truth about my relationship with food/myself, and i'm above a healthy weight for the first time in my life. i was entrenched in so much denial, i didn't fully know the extent of what i was writing about a year ago, and... well, now i do. and it's a lot of emotions. so, i guess i just wanted to thank you, for relating to my work in a way that helped me comb through everything.
    because of you, even when i didn't know, i knew.
    twitter: twitter.com/badqueers/
    facebook: facebook.com/badqueers/
    instagram: instagram.com/badqueers/
    email: badqueersthemusical@gmail.com
    bandcamp: arielhopestump.bandcamp.com/
    ariel's twitter: twitter.com/tinyribbits/
    ariel's tumblr: tinyribbits.tumblr.com/
    charlie, it's me.
    charlie it's raleigh waechter from across the street.
    aw, geez. i'm not ready to remember.
    not because i hate you! or because it's not amazing and a total trip to see you, 'cause i'm psyched!
    it's just weird and unexpected, reconciling with the past,
    i'm flabbergasted, talking to you as a man.
    your average ordinary man.
    am i a cool and sexy man?
    you called me sir...
    i mean, it's sad with all our childhood history that i'm a mystery to you now,
    but regarded as a mister nonetheless, so i guess it's plain to see how it's so tempting and so shiny...
    i'm the worst.
    but i'm so happy i could burst.
    memories of you, singing regina spektor,
    pirouetting on the lawn.
    and it breaks my hea-a-a-art,
    that all my thoughts of you get muddled up
    with dumb old pre-teen grossness that's a bummer to remember.
    please forgive me, 'cause i'm grateful for that summer, but i may just throw out raleigh,
    tell some little tiny whoppers, take the leap of faith and just be rae.
    rae who never bound his chest with tape.
    rae who wasn't hungry and as thin as paper.
    i'm sorry for withholding all my gratitude to you for changing my whole attitude
    regarding who i am, and why nothing felt quite right.
    i've finally started up my life.
    because of you, even when i didn't know, i knew. you were bold. you always told the truth
    and breathed much easier for it.
    while i coughed and wheezed and tried my darnedest to ignore it.
    but you told me to explore it, so i took my cross and bore it.
    you never go halfway, and i won't either.
    raleigh's gone, and now i'm rae.
    maybe i'm the worst.
    but i'm so happy i could burst.
    so happy i could burst.

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